Jessica Jones Month: AKA The New Nanny

Posted: October 27, 2015 in Comic Book Breakdowns
Tags: , , , , , ,

Welcome to Day 6 of Jessica Jones Month everyone! Being a superhero mother isn’t easy (just ask Sue Storm of the Fantastic Four), but it’s even harder when you’re a street level superhero and exposed to more violent criminal activity. With that in mind, then-new mother Jessica Jones and her boyfriend Luke Cage began to look for a nanny for their child Danielle.

While they did interview a surprisingly large amount of candidates, some proved to be a little more memorable than the rest. Let’s take a look:

The Candidates

1. Deadpool

Who doesn’t like a good Deadpool cameo? Just the fact that Wade Wilson’s even at the interview session is bizarre enough, but then it was made even better when all he did was sit there. Not a word was uttered before Luke and Jessica moved on to the next candidate. Can you even imagine how Danielle would have turned out being partially raised by the Merc with a Mouth?

Nanny Rating? HELL NO

2. D-Man

Does anyone even remember D-Man anymore? He’s exactly what his name implies (a D-list superhero), he’s somewhat insane, and he’s a little too into Captain America. Still, Dennis Dunphy has his heart in the right place, at least most of the time. My issue with his being a nanny is that he always seems to have it far rougher than a lot of other D-list heroes, gaining both a heart attack and brain damage at different points in time, and his bad luck could have rubbed off on Danielle.

Nanny Rating: MAYBE NEXT TIME

3. Groot

Why is this a thing? Groot, go back to the Guardians of the Galaxy, they need you out there!

Nanny Rating: I AM GROOT

4. Tigra

On the surface, this one wouldn’t be such a bad choice. Out of the other candidates, Tigra seems like the best option, thanks in no small part to her feline superpowers (super agility, super strength, etc) that would prove useful in protecting baby Danielle. However, she immediately makes it awkward for the couple by flirting on Luke during the interview. That doesn’t disqualify her, does it?

Nanny Rating: PURRFECT…BUT NOT RIGHT NOW

5. Squirrel Girl

Strangely enough, this one’s actually the best choice. Sure, she hangs around with squirrels all day and is a little (dare I say it?) nutty at times. But she’s actually pretty strong, taking down literally everyone who stands in her way and making her more than capable of taking care of a baby. On top of that, her character is one of the nicest you’ll ever find in a Marvel comic book, making it extremely easy to work with her on something like babysitting.

All in all, while she may not be everyone’s first choice, Squirrel Girl had my vote when she first showed up on the page looking for the nanny position, and I was glad when I found out the writers had the same idea.

Nanny Rating: ABSOLUTELY!

BONUS: D-Man (again)

It’s actually pretty painful to see Dennis at this interview. Look, he actually breaks down asking about Captain America’s interest in him, and by this point he’s had it really rough. Nobody even remembers he exists anymore. C’mon, somebody at Marvel, give this character a second chance!

Nanny Rating: ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE NOT

What do you think about Jessica’s choice of nanny? Let me know, either in the comments below or with a tweet through that widget on the left. Better yet, like the Comic Books vs The World Facebook page, and subscribe to the official Youtube channel to keep up with all the latest on Comic Books vs The World. Keep coming back for more of Jessica Jones Month!

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