Deadpool Month: Reviewing “Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars”

Posted: January 13, 2016 in Character Takeover
Tags: , , ,

Welcome to Deadpool Month everyone! It’s me, the Merc with a Mouth, coming back to this shindig to bring you more of my Deadpool goodness! Remember when I took over this joint last time?

I do! We talked about drugs! It was fun!

I don’t think anyone actually cares enough to remember that far back…

Eh, whatever. Point is, it’s gonna be like that, except more awesome, since I’m here for a whole month!

Anywho, I was flipping through one of my series’, Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars, and I was stunned. Flabbergasted I tell you! True, I got a sweet ass porno stache, hooked up with alien space babes, and even got to change history. The thing is though…the whole comic f#@king sucks!

Well no, not really. But it kinda does.

Plot

Remember the 80s? Big hair, lots of cocaine, when people thought jheri curls looked good?

Didn’t YOU used to have a jheri curl back then?

Deadpool Jheri Curl.jpg

The horror! Image taken from forums.marvelheroes.com

Like I said, it was the 80s. Nobody cared. As I was saying, all us Marvel dudes and dudettes had a big war (a “Secret War”, if you will, hehe) out in space against a bunch of bad guys back then. In the original version, my sweet and sour mug wasn’t gracing those particular pages, mostly because Rob Liefield hadn’t finished drawing on all of my pouches yet. 

takethatrob

Seriously, nuff said. Image taken from hilariouslybad.blogspot.com

Thanks to popularity (and massive retcons), I got to participate in the new, four issue mini series! Yay! The story is pretty much the same, except this time around, I influence a few of the major events in the original story. Spider-Man’s black suit, bringing that hot alien babe Zsaji to heal all my hero bros, and helping the Beyonder get his power back. That’s literally it. If you’ve read Secret Wars, then you’ve read my version.

I love short comics!

Yeah, well I don’t.

My Thoughts

Long story short, this comic is stupid. Sure, I have an excellent porno stache in it, but for the most part, nothing new happens! It’s all stuff you guys already knew. The creative team never takes anything close to a chance trying something fresh and original. I’m Deadpool for crying out loud! Couldn’t I fight a symbiote dinosaur? Wolverine got to do it! It’s not fair!

tumblr_inline_nj49ghefjh1rbdoc1

Oh wait, I did. Image taken from tumblr.com

COMIC BOOK GRADE: 5.0/10

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